Manasi - The Albatross

Manasi - The Albatross

Manasi would be ten years old this July and look at the way time has passed by . It would appear as if it was just the other day . Time ceaselessly has tried to erase those memories away but Manasi always came back to be amongst us ,it would be proper to say , be with me.

Manasi , my child was never born . She always remained an enigma , personified in the goodness of being and forever lost in the innocence of guilt . How do you then picture such a child  or imagine her growing up years ?

It was so easy for me , cause every time someone would tell me that a new born girl child was born , my first reaction would be “ what have you decided to name her” . Yes  I must confess , every child in these following years have been baptised by me as Manasi.  The proud parents would all go out and name their child anything but  Manasi .

This could be the reason why Manasi never had friends except me . Over the past few years somewhere in my deepest recess , I have allowed the child in me to manifest from time to time. This was to ensure that my Manasi was not alone and had company . Just the other day I was playing with my friends grandchild . The boy child is named Aza Blake . I quite liked his name , it had a certain aura and appeal .

That night I sat down to write and posted my thought on the Facebook  and signed it as Aza Blake . A dear  friend  quite liked those lines and enquired if Aza Blake was related to William Blake . I simply smiled and wrote back …keep guessing !  I know Manasi would have approved of this prank , yes she is the one who keeps me occupied .

Wonder what kind of a relationship would this be . At times there is a long  silence  and we do not enquire as often as we should . But Manasi has a way  playing with time . That is her only malleable toy with which she can do what she wants to , except of course sing along with me.

Last nite I played and sang along this wonderful song called Kilkelly Ireland , a very poignant tale of an old man from Ireland whose children had migrated to the US and England way back in 1860. The letters written by this old man to his children were found later and form the backdrop to this beautiful song .

As I ended this song I realised that the old man could well have been me. For I know , Manasi would always be a part of my growing and will stay closed to me notwithstanding  that life has been forever autumn .

The seasons will change and like the Albatross, Manasi will bear the good tidings. Saw all of us grow, but my darling little one, so very silently remained just a name of a loving child that was never born! Or shall I say yet to be born !